How To Handle Halloween Candy With Your Kids
I just watched my three year old son throw away a sucker that he had probably licked 2 times. And it made me realize that is exactly what a neutral relationship with candy looks like. Not because he was throwing away barely eaten candy, but because he had a neutral mindset about it to recognize “hm I’m not loving this, I think I’m finished, I’ll throw it away.”
Did you know that children who are restricted from candy are more likely to be preoccupied with it, have trouble resisting it, and load up on it when they aren’t hungry? Whereas, children who are given access to candy will eat it moderately, stop when they don’t want it or don’t like it, and might even just forget it’s there all together. (1, 2)
So how do we help our kids develop healthy relationships with candy? Well to start (spoiler alert)… the answer is not throw all their candy away or bring in the switch witch. Both of those things are teaching your kids two things: candy is bad and your body can’t be trusted around candy
We want to teach our kids the opposite of that:
Candy is not bad. No food is bad. Sure, foods vary in nutrient density making some foods more nutritious than others, but that’s not what we are talking about here.
Your body can be trusted around candy (and all foods). As our kids grow up, it’s so important for us to teach them how to honor their hunger, recognize fullness, build balance meals, and make space for all foods.
I want to answer a few burning questions I’m pretty sure you have —
“So when we come home from trick or treating and our kids want allll the candy they just got, what do we do?”
Well, like I do with all things feeding kids, let’s take a look at Ellyn’s Satter’s Division of Responsibility. If you are a parent, please take note of this, print this out, tattoo it on your forehead, whatever will help you remember it.
The Division of Responsibility in Feeding looks like this:
Parents decide what the child is eating, when the child is eating, and where the child is eating
Children decide how much they want to eat and whether they want to eat
Now let me say this, I think the first day or two after your kid gets candy, it’s good and normal to give them more open access to candy without interference. Growing up, one of my favorite halloween memories was coming home from trick or treating and looking through all that we got, trading our candy, and munching on it the next few days.
Just like you have favorite foods and candy, your kid will develop that too. So just because they have open access to candy for a few days doesn’t mean they are going to eat candy 24/7. What actually will happen is a bit of habituation response because you aren’t making a big deal about it or treating it like a luxury or “special treat”.
Important note: if you have young kids and are worried about choking hazards, sort through their candy and throw out anything that isn’t age-appropriate for them to chew and swallow safely
After the first few days of post-Halloween excitement settles, it’s okay for you to have a little more say over their candy consumption. BUT (this is the important part) this is where you have to check your own food rules.
Like the DOR says, you decide what, when, and where when it comes to feeding your child. It’s so important that the what, when, and where is filtered through a mindset of food neutrality and attuned eating. If you have your own food rules with candy, that is going to seep into how you decide the what, when, and where for your child.
This next question will dive into what we do with the lingering Halloween candy (and if you are still waiting for me to recommend the switch witch, you’re gonna be waiting a long time because that recommendation isn’t coming)
Okay, so my child wakes up and immediately wants candy, what do I do?
Repeat after me: we want to act normal and neutral. This means we give them candy. Did a Registered Dietitian just say to give your kid candy in the morning? Yes, I did. Let’s talk about it.
So if we are thinking about this through the lens of attuned and balanced eating, we recognize they just woke up, they have an empty stomach, they need breakfast. So we give them breakfast, too. Whatever that looks like in your family.
One of our kids’ favorite breakfast is eggs, fruit, and toast. And about 3 thousand pouches. I’ll even give you some dialogue you can steal, and Iet’s make it a realistic conversation you might have with a 3 year old.
Caulder: “I want candy”
Me: “Okay buddy, how do we ask nicely?”
Caulder: “Please”
Me: “Okay, pick one out of your bucket. Do you want to help me make your eggies?”
Caulder: “YEAAAA!” *pushes toddler tower over to stove*
And the scene continues with us making breakfast for him and Rivers. Sometimes he actually ate the candy he asked for. Sometimes he throws it away. But the point here is I remain neutral the whole time. We aren’t making a big deal about the candy. We are acting just like we would if your kid was eating broccoli.
Basically, if we are thinking about a balanced meal framework, we are thinking about the candy as the dessert that goes with breakfast. And we repeat this with any other meal. And snack.
It’s the middle of the day and your child is wanting candy but they just had a snack/meal, what do you do?
Obviously this is my first year truly navigating Halloween candy with Caulder because last year he still didn’t quite understand the concept. But I think of this question like I would with popsicles in the summer, random baked goods we have around the house, etc. With candy, what I started doing (as of today lol) is creating a small candy bowl that Caulder can put the candy in that will go with his next meal or snack. Honestly I might start doing this with pouches to see if we can get our consumption from 3 thousand to 2 thousand a day. A girl can dream.
So let’s do another real life dialogue I had with Caulder. The scene: he already ate breakfast, we are hanging out in the playroom waiting for our nanny to come over.
Caulder: “I want candy”
Me: “Okay buddy, how do we ask nicely?”
Caulder: “Please” … see the theme here lol
Me: “Pick the one you want, and we will put it in this bowl for O Rob to give you with your lunch”
Caulder: *picks a sucker and puts it in the bowl* (now there was a little back and forth before he actually picked it and put it in the bowl because toddlers ya know)
Me: *puts bowl on counter and we continue playing*
Again, what’s important here is we are acting normal about the candy and remaining aligned with the DOR. I’m learning in every area of parenting, we have to be consistent. So if I want my kids to understand their role in feeding and eating, I need to be consistent in implementing that pattern.
You know what’s funny? This is the sucker example I talked about above. When lunch came around, our nanny gave it to him, he had a few licks, and threw it away. That’s not going to happen with all candy, sweets, desserts he eats. If you give him a chocolate chip cookie, he’ll eat every bite (and have a face covered in chocolate to prove it). So just like us, he’s learning his preferences with all food. And I want to ensure he’s learning them from a neutral and normal lens.
Here’s the bottom line with all of this, if we are modeling a healthy relationship with food (all types of food) year round, this should roll over nicely into how we navigate Halloween candy with them too. I’m confident you will find that your child eats less sweets than you think they may because you are taking the “special treat” factor out of the equation.
SOURCES:
Rollins BY, Loken E, Savage JS, et al. Effects of restriction on children’s intake differ by child temperament, food reinforcement, and parent’s chronic use of restriction. Appetite. Feb 2014;73:31-39.
Rollins BY, Loken E, Savage JS, et al. Maternal controlling feeding practices and girls’ inhibitory control interact to predict changes in BMI and eating in the absence of hunger from 5 to 7 y1,3. Am J Clin Nutr. Feb 2014;99:249-257.
